Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
