we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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