found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
