I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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