I got chris browned last night
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
