honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sext me about skeletons
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
