She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
