He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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