I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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