How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
