i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think i peed on brittanys purse
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
