He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
