mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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