Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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