I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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