My first STD was from a foam party
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
