Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
