What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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