It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
