well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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