You're so nebulous sometimes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
