My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
