i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
