Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
