Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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