He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
