thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
