Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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