Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
