they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
