So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
