You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
