Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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