"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
