Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
