I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
