I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
