You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
