i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
