haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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