I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
