Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
