i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
