Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
