I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
