can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
