the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
