he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
