people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
