i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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