when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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