matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
