if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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