ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
