She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
