i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
