Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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