You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
