She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
