Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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