great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
