We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
