yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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