he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
